Placebo Effect

[Shannon]

I unlocked the door to my apartment, the keys jangling loudly. Once inside, I tossed my keys into a basket. All the lights were off and I didn't feel like turning them on. The only light was what filtered through the windows. It was evening so even that light was dim. I could see the dust motes floating in the rays of dull light.

The house was empty, making it feel even more lonely. I kicked the door shut behind me, not bothering to relock it. I made a stop at my studio before going to my room. I had a couple shattered mirrors I wanted to piece back together before painting the surfaces. I grabbed the towel-wrapped mirrors and went to my room, grabbing the stereo remote on the way there. I turned it on, switching it to a Placebo CD. I had set it to "My Sweet Prince" and that's what now played on repeat.

I hit the volume up button a couple times. The music could be heard throughout my apartment and anybody would know I was home if they came by. Before starting on my project, I tossed the folder I had been carrying on my desk. The papers slid out of the folder and stayed in plain view on the desk. They were articles on three different ailments. The doctor had handed them to me in that same folder before I left his office. He said I would understand better if I read them. I was sure I would, but I didn't feel like reading them now.

I sat on the floor with my back against the edge of my bed. I spread the towel out in front of me, arranging the shattered mirror into some semblance of order. In the process, minor cuts began to appear on my hands, but I ignored them. I could deal with them later. I sat quietly for a moment, listening to the music, remembering when I had first heard it.

Never thought you'd make me perspire.
Never thought I'd do you the same.
Never thought I'd fill with desire.
Never thought I'd feel so ashamed.

Me and the dragon can chase all the pain away.
So before I end my day, remember...
My sweet prince, you are the one
My sweet prince
you are the one

Never thought I'd have to retire
Never thought I'd have to abstain
Never thought all this could back fire
Close up the hole in my vain

Me and my valuable friend
can fix all the pain away
So before I end my day
remember
My sweet prince
you are the one
My sweet prince

Never thought I'd get any higher
Never thought you'd fuck with my brain
Never thought all this could expire
Never thought you'd go break the chain

Me and you baby,
still flush all the pain away
So before I end my day, remember...
My sweet prince
you are the one
My sweet prince


Lyrics by Placebo - "My Sweet Prince"

[Izzy Morris]

As was customary I didn’t call or even knock when I came in. My footsteps were quite and became near silent when I slipped my shoes off not that it mattered with the volume of the music. I was about to run in screaming to try and scare Shannon when I noticed a folder on his desk. Instead of standing there and reading them I picked them up sure that if I didn’t look at them now he would never show me. I stood just outside the room so that I could flip through them without being noticed. When I got to the end a look of upset displeasure had become my expression. I walked back into the room this time with much less enthusiasm and poked Shannon to get his attention as opposed to the screaming method. “Hey…”

[Shannon]

I grabbed the remote and reduced the volume of my stereo. The action in itself left a tiny blood smear on the side. I grabbed an extra towel and held onto it, the bleeding stopping quickly since the cuts were tiny. I stood up, noticing her expression. It frightened me a bit and I wasn't entirely sure how to react to it. "Hey... What's up?" My tone was gentle, not meaning for the overused phrase to sound ignorant or too abrasive. I bit my lip, a bit nervous regarding the impending conversation.

[Izzy Morris]

I looked him in the eyes while I spoke. “So what’s with the folder?” I kept my voice calm and steady to let him know that I was more concerned then I was mad or upset. Inwardly deep down, of course I was upset, but that’s not what he needed right now. I dropped my stare so that I could hug him. “Is something really wrong? Is that why you had to go to the doctor?”

[Shannon]

I sighed heavily, letting out the breath I had been holding. I rested my head on her shoulder closing my eyes for a second to gather my thoughts. "That stupid folder..." I lifted my head, feeling better knowing I hadn't epically screwed up somewhere. "Well, it's just as the articles say. It's not terribly major but since I transferred schools, they required the exam. And Jase was about to knock me silly for being stubborn about it anyway. I'll be fine. The articles have lists of different treatments but I should be okay... except for the not sleeping part."

[Izzy Morris]

I didn’t pull back, at the moment I just needed to hold onto him. It was like I was six years old again; it was like I was back in the darkness of my big scary room alone with nothing but the monsters in my closet and my teddy bear. Only now I was seventeen, the monsters in the closet were real issues affecting my current teddy bear Shannon and it was like the monsters were taking him from me, which is why I didn’t want to let go. It’s why I couldn’t. I didn’t want to get emotional on him so I stayed adamant on the not cry thing, at least outwardly. “Shannon I want to help…please.”

[Shannon]

I wrapped my arms around her. "There's not much to be done. Just stay with me. There are medications but I don't want to take them. I'll live with it." I had reviewed the side effects and I'd deal with my problems before I dealt with the problems the side effects posed. "Really don't worry about me."

[Izzy Morris]

I forced a smile in hopes that it would make me feel better. It helped a little but not as much as Shannon’s arms around me, and him saying that he wanted me to stay with him. “You don’t need me to ask, I was going to anyway.” I waited another long moment before I released him. I was hesitant about it because I really didn’t want to, but it’s not like he was going anywhere. “So what were you up to before I barged in?”

[Shannon]

I looked at my hands. They were a bit red. "Nothing really. I was piecing together a mirror so I could paint it and drowning any coherent thought with Placebo." I glanced at my stereo which was still playing, albeit a bit quieter than before. The song was still on repeat so I picked up the remote and allowed the song to pass on to "Blue American".

[Izzy Morris]

“Well that’s pretty impressive, multitasking. Are you sure you should be drowning out your thoughts while playing with glass?” I looked to the stereo and then to the semi-arranged glass. “That seems sort of dangerous.” I looked up a hint of disapproval on my face.

[Shannon]

I smiled in a mischievous manner. "That's what makes it fun." I was totally kidding but I thought it might lift her mood a bit. "At least I'm not balancing knives or something." I often fell into a daze when I turned my music up that loud and started working on a project. I would usually finish the project just fine but my hands were a mess afterward.

[Izzy Morris]

“Oh yeah loads of fun, the best part is the trip to the ER right?” I smiled faintly before playfully punching him in the stomach. “So do you wanna fill me in on your most recent project or should I just walk away?” I backed away a few steps to the door with a smirk on my face.

[Shannon]

I grabbed her wrist, rising to the challenge. "You know I won't let you leave after issuing a challenge like that." I looked at the mirror sparkling a little in the dim evening light. "It's nothing impressive. Just a mirror that I broke. I'm going to piece it back together and paint it. It's not very useful for reflecting afterward but it's kinda pretty I guess." I shrugged, I had trouble describing my art as pretty. It seemed more... emotive to me.

[Izzy Morris]

I looked a little closer at the mirror pieces. “Well I suppose they’ll be lovely when you’re done.” I made no attempt to break away from his grasp. “So can I help you in any way or are you going to lock me up and make me watch?” I looked up at him and smiled at him.

[Shannon]

I smiled and relinquished my death grip on her arm. "Well, I hadn't really done a whole lot with it yet since I spaced out a bit." I rubbed at the back of my head gently, spiking the short hair. "The apartment was so lonely I didn't really feel like doing anything but drowning myself in my music." My right arm crossed my chest so I could grasp the upper part of my left arm. I hated admitting how much I disliked living alone.