Still Doll

[Shannon]

I sat in Biology II, my first class of the day. It was still dark outside, and it had been deathly quiet outside. I was remembering last night, as I watched the sun set on my last day of summer. My last day of freedom for nine months.
The sun is dying... It's red blood is splattering the sky.

I guess my nervousness was bringing about the morbid thoughts. This is the sun's funeral, it's creeping toward it's grave.

I had given up on the sun after it had finally given up its last rays of light. This morning had been quiet, almost unnervingly so. I sat now in my desk, the teacher droning on about rules and grading scales, projects and due dates. I wasn't listening anymore. I felt uneasy and out of place here. I was in a back corner, trying my best to remain unseen by the rest of the class.

I had put my feet on the edge of my seat, pulling my knees to my chest. I had one arm resting across them, my hand dangling limply beside them. I looked out the window once again, noticing the sun beginning to rise. I smiled sadly.

And so, like the phoenix, the sun is reborn...

[Izzy Morris]

I watched Shannon from across the room. If he looked any more miserable, I would have jumped out of my seat and taken him to the nurses office. When the idea crossed my mind I almost got up and did it without waiting, but now didn’t seem like a good time to draw unnecessary attention to him by starting something of a small scene. I sighed softly in utter frustration. I felt so useless right now, and safe to say I was not handling it all that well.

[Shannon]

My eyes became fixed on the clock. The bell would ring and dismiss us to a 20 minute morning break in 3 minutes. My hand clamped down around a wrinkle in my jeans. The muscles in my arm became defined because I had such a tight grip on my jeans. My other hand was trembling slightly as I watched each shuddering movement of the second hand. I brought my legs closer to my chest, if that was even possible. I was surprised the clock didn't shatter from the intensity of my stare.

[Izzy Morris]

I was counting every second that passed, and as more time added to the count it seemed like the numbers were coming slower every time. Finally the bell sounded off and I jumped out of my desk almost as it was spring loaded. Instead of regarding all the other kids trying to get out I desk hopped over to Shannon and kneeled beside his desk. By now he was alone in his part of the room. “Hey are you going to be okay? Should I take you to the nurse?” I wrapped my fingers as much as I could around his bicep. I blinked a few times to wash the panic out of them.

[Shannon]

I released my hold on the wrinkle in my jeans and turned toward Izzy, trying to forget the stare I had caught from the teacher. Somebody needs to mind their own business and get out of the room. I gave her an exhausted smile. "I'll be okay. I just need... to walk or something. These rooms feel like a prison." We had 20 minutes to do whatever we wanted and I planned to spend it in the courtyard.

[Izzy Morris]

I stood up out of my crouch and let go of his arm now that I knew I had his attention. “Well what do you say we get some of that freedom that the jail bird needs right now.” I tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but I wasn’t sure how he was going to take it. I started up the isle towards the front of the class. The door seemed a lot closer now that class was over and I was rather excited to get on with our morning break.

[Shannon]

I nodded and uncurled myself from the pretzel position I had been in and followed. The teacher glanced up at me and I looked at her, my expression devoid of emotion. I got out the door and grabbed Izzy's hand, darting in the direction of the court yard. I slowed my pace a bit when we got near the door. It was still shadowy outside. The court yard had a shallow pond in the middle of it and trees with late year flowers on them. Some of the pink petals had fallen on the ground. A flagstone path led around the courtyard and to a small patio-type area with tables.

[Izzy Morris]

I was more then a little shocked when this time around Shannon was the one doing the pulling this time. I didn’t fight it, not one bit. In fact I was inwardly pleased that Shannon had taken my hand this time. When we got out to the courtyard I could feel the fresh air fill the space where the air in the school had been. “Shannon this is lovely don’t you think.” I looked at him hoping to get a smile out of him.

[Shannon]

I closed my eyes when I got outside, reveling in the feel of the cool morning air. It stirred my bangs, rearranging them over my eyes. The tenseness left my shoulders and I relaxed, opening my eyes to look around. "It is, though why it's at the center of a school building, I have no idea." I started walking slowly toward the pond, drawn in by the serenity of the location.

[Izzy Morris]

I walked over and stood idly next to Shannon as he more- a-less put all his focus into the pond. It seemed that simply being outside of the building was enough to loosen him up. I decided to let him have his moment in peace. For now it was just best to stand here silently incase he needed me when he came back out of his state.

[Shannon]

I sat down slowly on the grass, which was dry despite the foggy morning. I leaned back, bracing myself against my hands. I turned to look at Izzy, beckoning her to come sit next to me. I felt much better out here, in the open where there were no chairs to pinch at my back, no teachers to drone at me and no other people to cast their judgmental stares. Flower petals floated on the surface of the pond, spinning gently in the breeze.

[Izzy Morris]

I was naturally drawn to Shannons beckoniong. I was like he was a porch light in the dark and I was a moth desperate for it’s bright promise. Once seated next to him I pulled one leg up to my chest and the other underneath me. While looking at the peatls floating about on the surface of the placid water I started a topic of sorts to kill the silence. “I wish I was so small that I could float on those petals all day and enjoy all the little things nature has to offer.” I looked to Shannon. “Beats school…” I had said the last bit in a stage whisper, a smirk crept to my lips after.

[Shannon]

I smiled crookedly, the urge to bring up a random point invading my brain. "I'd be scared that a bug would eat me or something." I reached out a hand, gently poking one of the petals, causing it to spin haphazardly. I lifted my hand, the petal sticking to it. I could hear other students walking in the halls behind us but I tuned it out.

[Izzy Morris]

I turned back once to see the masses of Bellvue students passing behind us. It was like a river of hormonal bodies looking for there next mission, it could have been to get to the library or to undermine the confidence of an insecure freshmen, what ever it was, to those people high school was the most important thing to them now. I finally looked back to Shannon and realized that before he had come here this summer I was the same way, but now my priorities were geared in a much different direction.

[Shannon]

I sighed, leaning to one side. The time we had out of class was getting shorter. I could almost hear the seconds ticking by on my watch. I glanced at my watch. We had ten minutes left. "Let's go wander the school a bit." The suggestions probably sounded strange from me, but I felt like exploring since I'd never actually found all the rooms of the school.